everyone says that it gets easier at some point. but i'm still wondering when that's supposed to happen. it's been almost 4 months since the last time i saw him and it's been almost 2 months since we last spoke. at some point, it's supposed to stop burning, right? at some point, the flames in my chest should hurt less, right?
the really scary thing is that even though it's over, there's a tiny voice in my brain that says "it was supposed to be him". and it was. it was always supposed to be him.
what's worse is that i know i will never be the same "girlfriend" with anyone else. i will never love anyone as unconditionally, i will never be as open, and i will never be as forgiving. i think that this was the one to truly f*ck me up.
and the worst part is that if he called me right now, i would answer, and i can't imagine that there will be a day that i wouldn't.
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